Happily Not Married

December 1, 2019

 

A woman may marry not only whom she likes, 

but when she likes 

and if she likes.

 

Today at least 50% of the worlds' population accepts that women can choose whom they'd like to marry (As opposed to be set up in an arranged marriage for example). However, among those individuals who couldn't fathom not having free will to choose their partner, many still cant seem to grasp two other considerations about women and marriage.

One being, WHEN they get married. 

How old, or I should say, how young they should be married by.
And the second being, IF they even need to get married at all.
As if this is some mandatory inescapable law instead of a 

t r a d i t i o n.

 

The curiosity of why a woman is not married "yet", seems to only increase with age
as opposed to decrease and eventually go away altogether. 

Thankfully its merely the look received that insinuates the concern and rarely does anyone actually ask. Because the long "why" list might enhance their 11 lines as a result of the horror stories of love and relationship. As well as may all too bluntly remind them the joys of being incredibly free from singledom. 

Sorry, not sorry.

 
Revisiting experiences gone wrong, by the way, would by no means be a woe is thee pity party. Rather it would be an honest reflection of relationships gone bad or the denial thereof.

Trust lost, communication breakdowns, irrational expectations, lack of clarity, insecurities, control issues, bad habits, enabling behaviours, closed minds or simply changed minds. And of course overall heartbreak and in some cases outright spirit break.

 

Do not confuse this as an attack on marriage. For starters, weddings are the best parties. (Given at least 3/4 of the party is happy about whose getting married.) 

And more importantly, finding someone that inspires you to make a pact to be partners in life, is indeed beautiful and desirable.

 

This is so beautiful and desirable though, not for the act of matrimony. And not only for the agreements, decisions or miracles that may come of it. But as people choosing who we spend our lives with, it is so beautiful and desirable for the pleasures of love, connection, security, support, affection, intimacy and all around enjoying life with good company.

 

Nonetheless finding that someone that makes being in a life-long relationship better than being single, does not happen for everyone by whatever age you have been trained to expect it by. Nor should there be a pressure to get hitched by some certain age just to find yourself meeting that expectation rather than truly meeting your #relationshipgoals. 

 

Basically, a life partner partnership shouldn't be limited by traditions and expectations. Rather, limited only by disrespect and dishonesty. 

A commitment not determined by a white dress and a celebration. Instead determined by love and companionship, "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do ya'll part".

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